This article, however, is written specifically for lesbian and queer couples. It focuses on real bodies, real intimacy and the kind of pleasure that actually matters for women and AFAB (assigned female at birth) partners: clitoral stimulation, comfort, emotional connection and playful experimentation with toys.
Whether you’re in your first lesbian relationship, exploring your queer side, or simply want to refresh your bedroom routine with your long-term partner, these positions are designed to be:
- Beginner-friendly – no acrobatics or unrealistic flexibility required
- Toy-inclusive – perfect for using a dildo, strap-on or cock sleeve
- Body-positive – adaptable for different body types, energy levels and experiences
Use this as a guide, not a rulebook. If something feels good and safe for both of you, you’re doing it right.
How Lesbian Sex Positions Differ from Hetero “Porn Positions”
Most mainstream “sex positions” content is written for straight couples and focuses on penetration with a penis. For many lesbians and queer couples, that’s not the center of pleasure at all.
Lesbian-centered positions usually:
- Focus more on clitoral and vulva stimulation
- Mix fingers, tongues, toys and grinding instead of only thrusting
- Allow more eye contact, kissing and full-body touch
- Adjust easily for two vulvas, two similar bodies and different gender expressions
You don’t need a penis to have amazing sex. You need curiosity, communication and a few comfy positions that let you explore what feels right for both of you.
Comfortable Lesbian Positions for Beginners
If you’re new to lesbian sex, start with positions that feel grounded, safe and slow. These make it easy to communicate, watch each other’s reactions and explore at your own pace.
1. The Soft Pillow Grind
This is a gentle grinding position that’s perfect for discovering what kind of pressure and angle feel good.
- One partner lies on their back with a soft pillow or folded blanket under their hips.
- The other partner straddles one leg or the lower belly/upper thigh area and grinds their vulva softly against the body or pillow, facing towards the lying partner.
- Hands are free for breast play, kissing, hair stroking or clitoral rubbing.
- Why it works for lesbians:
- No need for penetration.
- You can adjust pressure and angle easily.
- Great for partners who are shy about “diving straight in” but want intense clitoral stimulation.
You can also introduce a magic wand vibrator or a sex grinder used as a soft grinding surface between you for even more sensation.
2. Side-by-Side Snuggle (Spooning Style)
This is a sweet, low-effort position for lazy mornings or cozy nights.
- Both partners lie on their sides, facing the same direction, in a spooning position.
- The partner behind wraps their arm over and reaches between the front partner’s thighs to play with the clitoris and vulva.
- It’s easy to kiss the neck, whisper, breathe together and keep everything slow and intimate.
Why it’s beginner-friendly:
- No intense stretching or hip movement needed.
- Great for plus-size bodies, chronic pain, or low-energy days.
- You can add a small dildo or slim strap-on later, once you’re both comfortable.
3. Face-to-Face Pillow Nest
This is ideal for partners who want eye contact and deep emotional connection.
- Build a cozy “nest” of pillows.
- Lie face to face, both on your sides, with thighs slightly open so your legs can tangle together.
- You can grind vulva to vulva gently, or one partner can use their hand or a toy on the other’s clitoris while kissing and holding.
Why it’s great for lesbians:
- Full emotional intimacy – you see every reaction.
- Easy to switch roles without moving a lot.
- Perfect for combining manual stimulation, kissing and affirming words.
Best Lesbian Sex Positions with a Strap-On
Strap-on play can be incredibly empowering and fun for lesbian and queer couples. The right position makes it easier to control depth, angle and intimacy.
Tip: Choose a high-quality, body-safe silicone dildo and a comfortable strap-on harness or strap-on pants so the experience feels natural and secure.
4. Strap-On Missionary (Deep Eye Contact)
This is a classic, but with a lesbian twist.
- The receiving partner lies on their back, maybe with a pillow under their hips.
- The giving partner wears a strap-on dildo or strap-on pants and kneels between their legs.
- Because there’s no real penis sensitivity, the giving partner can focus more on rhythm, clitoral contact and emotional connection.
- Use one hand to stimulate the clitoris while thrusting gently.
Why it works:
- Great eye contact and kissing.
- Easy to adjust depth – important if one partner is new to penetration.
- Works well with dildo panties that mimic skin texture for a more immersive feeling.
5. Strap-On Doggie with Hip Support
Perfect for couples who like a bit more intensity.
- The receiving partner is on hands and knees or leans over a pillow or stack of cushions for support.
- The giving partner stands or kneels behind, wearing the strap-on.
- One hand can hold the partner’s hips while the other reaches around for clitoral stimulation.
Why lesbians love it:
- Allows deeper penetration with a sturdy harness.
- Angle is fantastic for G-spot stimulation with the right dildo curve.
- Easy for the giver to control speed and take breaks.
If you prefer something softer, bend the knees more, lower the hips and keep the thrust shallow with more focus on clitoral contact.
6. Queen’s Chair (Strap-On Lap Ride)
This is a more dominant/royal vibe – and very toy-friendly.
- The giving partner sits back against the headboard or wall with legs slightly open, wearing a strap-on.
- The receiving partner sits on top, facing away or facing towards the giver, and slowly lowers themselves onto the dildo.
- They control depth and speed by using their legs and hands.
Why it’s powerful:
- The bottom partner feels in control of how much and how fast.
- The top partner can still reach down to touch their own clitoris.
- Perfect for couples who enjoy roleplay, power dynamics or “being worshipped”.
Lesbian Positions with Dildos, Silicone Pants Other Toys
Lesbian sex is incredibly toy-friendly. Dildos, vibrators and strap-on pants can all add new sensations without replacing your own bodies or intimacy.
7. Double Pleasure with a Strapless Dildo and Clitoral Toy
- One partner lies on their back, legs open.
- The other kneels between their thighs and uses a realistic dildo or slim toy for slow penetration.
- At the same time, a small vibrator, suction toy or even a textured cock sleeve is used on the clitoris.
Why it works:
- Many vulva owners need direct clitoral stimulation to climax – this position makes it easy to combine penetration and clitoral focus.
- The giving partner can watch facial expressions and adjust in real time.
8. Vulva-to-Vulva Grind (Tribbing / Scissoring Style, but Realistic)
Forget the acrobatic porn version – there are comfortable, realistic ways to trib.
- Both partners lie on their sides, facing different directions, forming an X or T-shape with their legs.
- Adjust until vulva touches vulva or thigh, then grind in small, controlled motions.
- You can place a soft silicone toy between you as a padded, textured surface.
Why it’s special:
- Very equal – both partners receive stimulation at the same time.
- Great for couples who love the idea of “sharing” pleasure.
- Works with or without toys.
9. Sitting on the Throne (Oral + Toy Combo)
- One partner sits on the edge of the bed or a sturdy chair.
- The other kneels or lies between their legs for oral sex.
- A small vibrator or strapless dildo can be used simultaneously for extra clitoral or penetration sensations.
Why lesbians enjoy it:
- Easy access for oral, fingers and toys together.
- The partner receiving can lean back, relax and fully surrender.
- Perfect for building intensity slowly towards a strong orgasm.
Communication, Boundaries and Aftercare
No matter which lesbian sex positions you try, three things matter more than any angle or technique:
Open communication
- Ask: “Do you like this angle?”
- Offer: “Do you want more clit, less thrust, slower, deeper?”
- Use safe words or signals if you’re exploring rougher or more experimental positions.
Respect for boundaries
- Not every lesbian or queer person enjoys penetration or strap-ons – and that’s okay.
- Some people love grinding and oral but don’t want anything inside their body.
- The best position is the one you both enthusiastically consent to.
Aftercare and connection
- Cuddle, talk, drink water, breathe together.
- Ask what felt amazing and what you might change next time.
- This feedback loop makes every future experience better.
Try Positions That Fit Your Toys and Your Bodies
Lesbian sex is not one rigid script. It’s a toolbox you can customize.
If you love using toys, explore:
- Realistic dildos for lifelike penetration and G-spot focus
- Cock sleeves as soft, textured grinding surfaces or to add girth to another dildo toy
- Strap-on pants and harnesses that stay in place and feel like part of your body
Choose body-safe materials (like high-quality silicone), easy-to-clean designs and realistic textures that match the experience you want.
Final Thoughts: Your Best Lesbian Sex Position Is the One That Feels Right
There’s no “correct” way to have lesbian sex. There are only ways that feel good, safe and affirming for you and your partner.
Use this guide as a starting point:
- Begin with comfortable, low-pressure positions
- Add toys like dildos, vibrators or strap-ons when you’re ready
- Adjust for your body types, feelings and energy on any given day
And whenever you want to explore more ideas for other couples or toy-focused fun, you can always come back to our full best sex positions guide for fresh inspiration.
If you enjoy exploring bold, high-intensity sex positions, you’ll probably love diving into a few more of our in-depth guides:
- For lovers of speed, depth and a little chaos, our Jackhammer sex position guide breaks down how to enjoy this deep, fast and wild move in a way that still feels safe and consensual for both partners.
- If you want a move that’s powerful but often overlooked, the Apex sex position shows you how a simple angle change can unlock deeper penetration, stronger sensations and better control.
- Craving full dominance and total control? The Captain sex position guide walks you through how to take charge, adjust the rhythm and build up to truly mind-blowing orgasms.
- And if you like adding a playful twist, our guide to the Eiffel Tower sex position blends visual excitement, shared focus and emotional intimacy, turning a “porn-famous” pose into something deeply enjoyable in real life.
Use these guides as inspiration to create your own rotation of favorite positions. Mix them, slow them down, adapt them to your bodies and boundaries – the best position is always the one that feels good, safe and exciting for both of you.
